trillonious monk

A Comprehensive Analysis of Rebecca Black’s Creepy Rap Artist Debut

While thirteen-year-old pop sensation, Rebecca Black, has already bemused the world with her cringe-worthy song, “Friday,” some people have failed to notice the debut appearance of some no-name rap artist who perhaps deserves more attention than the bubble-gum teenager herself. I mean, I get it. People have got their panties in a wad because some eighth-grader sings horribly written lyrics while doubly maintaining the most awkward composure throughout a poorly produced music video. But come on, people. She’s thirteen. Let’s focus our attention on the over-aged, pedophilic man who drives (solo) down a highway while rapping about getting down with junior high minors.

More specifically, let us critically examine no-name-rapper’s last four verses:

(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

Line 1: This man gets titillated by a school bus of students. “C’mon” suggests sexual undertone. Who is coming on? Who should be coming on? Why are they coming on? The school bus is “in front of [him]”—positing the school bus (and by extension, the minors) in an accessible sexual position.
Line 2: This man wants to scream after seeing a school bus of students, insomuch that he cannot stand waiting for time to pass by (as indicated by the repetitive tick-tocks of his clock). To scream suggests an orgasmic release. An ejaculatory vocalization. So I’ve been told. I don’t make this stuff up, you guys.
Line 3: This man has the capacity to recognize when the weekend starts. Perhaps this man, like Rebecca Black, is stupefied by the complex order of days in a week, and so to know them in detail is indeed a special feat. This is not good for either Rebecca Black or a grown-ass man.
Line 4: This man speaks in first person plural: we. He and the school bus of students are a collective group now—further accented by two additional sexually charged “C’mon’s.” This is also not good for a grown-ass man.

Also, it is nice to know that I’m putting my critically thinking skills to good use. I can’t imagine why some doctorate programs don’t want me educating their students of tomorrow. It is beyond me.

  1. acnewton reblogged this from rachblog
  2. milosmooths reblogged this from danthom
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  4. write-handed said: critical thinking skills = A+
  5. danthom reblogged this from rachblog and added:
    IMPORTANT ANALYSIS RIGHT HERE
  6. deathbedexistentialism said: Maybe he and his friends be frustrated because they be stuck behind a school bus full of kids n’ shit! Buses be slow and be stoppin’. It’s Friday, nigga and his “homies” be goin’ to “get they drink on.” They be wantin the fuckin’ bus to move yo
  7. rachblog posted this