trillonious monk

POST-INSOMNIAC THOUGHTS

Why does Facebook deny us the choice to ‘Dislike?’ Have we not founded that expansive Land of the Free on the principle (or illusion, at least) that our most god-given right in this god-forsaken country is to, so help us god, choose? I mean, sometimes you get a comment from that guy slash guy you don’t really know, and he says something like, HEY HOW ARE YOU?, and you’re like, HEY WE HAVEN’T SPOKEN IN FIVE YEARS LET ME EXPLAIN MY LIFE TO YOU ON THIS WALL POST BECAUSE MY LIFE IS THAT REDUCTIVE AND SIMPLISTIC, OKAY? And so really, because we, the human population of planet earth, copiously believe in that little thing called subtlety, we might fervently wish for the option of ‘Dislike’ to hush those little buggers away. Let me break it down for you a bit further. Alternatively, when users click ‘Like’ they express more than what they might actually realize. For example: hey, I like this post because you are really attractive, and I want to make sex with you. Or perhaps hey, I like this post because we share inside jokes that no one else gets and we are being cool and elitist and I don’t even need a written response, just this tiny, ever so discreet ‘Like’ to show everyone that we are being cool and elitist, okay? So given this premise, ‘Dislike’ unleashes a world of expression that we have otherwise repressed all these years. For example, in having this option, one might convey: hey, you need to not post on my wall because I don’t actually like you. Or hey, you are not as funny as you think. Or (for the obscurity-ridden hipsters!) one might use ‘Dislike’ ironically because they really do, in fact, LOVE a posted item—and then we contribute to the ever-ironic world that consumes our daily society!

I’m just saying—I want the choice, man. That’s all I ask.

  1. deathbedexistentialism said: Choice is an illusion. It cannot be given or taken away.
  2. morefunthanbeingsad said: SO FAR I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL. BUT WE SHALL SEE
  3. mylifeisabsurd said: If there is ever a “superlike” option available on facebook, I move that it is instead a “make sex with” button, just to make things more awkward than they ever need to be. Also, there should be a “I don’t know why I’m friends with you” button.
  4. passengerseatt said: Instead of “dislike” I just want a button that says “I’m really unsure of how to proceed with this conversation, so I’m just going to leave”
  5. onewiththewurlitzer said: passionate post is passionate
  6. rachblog posted this