now that we’re closing another year in the twenty-first century, i find myself finally joining the multi-wired, wave-infused population of Planet Earth. that’s right, people! rachel is beginning to get into the groove of that conglomerated world of technology, no matter how much of an idiot she looks like in her attempt to do so!

to be clear, i’ve just recently bought myself an ipod (although i previously owned one, though never actually used it), and had to figure out in the wee hours of the morning how to actually use itunes, how to download music. files, folders, external hardrives? what a world so unknown to me! on top of that, i’ve recently discovered how to navigate through my laptop, and while in the process of this, i discovered a mess of applications that i never knew existed! why had i for so long resisted this lovely, little friend?

i suppose it doesn’t help that i treat every technological gadget as if money pours out of my most intimate parts. ha! quite the contrary, actually, and yet i throw around my laptop, ipod, and cell phone like i can easily replace them with the endless amount of money i don’t make. lately, the possible repercussions of my actions have been transpiring into harsh realities—very harsh realities. now i’m stuck with a cell phone that can’t call out or receive calls, a laptop that shuts down whenever it decides it wants to piss me off, and an ipod that needs some Apple-product rescue!

i can’t say that i don’t wholly deserve this.

how gently nostalgia nestles in the pit of our stomachs, remembering the dreams of our wide-eyed youth, how we once thought our imagination could save the world.

yes, mr. silverstein, i too welcome dreamers, so that our flax-golden tales never die.

My name is Janifar, i am loving young girl,i will also like to know you better, i want you to send an email to me so that i can send you my picture for you to know whom i am.Here is my email address (jan4real2001@gmail.com)I am waiting for your mail . Remember the distance of colour does not matter but love matters alot in life.

Yours Love
Janifar

and my response…

Dear Janifar,

Despite the fact that your exotic name incites a curiosity in me unmatched by any of my previous, more ‘colorful’ suitors (i.e. Sincere, Wisdom, Horece, Jamall, etc), I can’t say that I would like to know you better. You see, I too am a young girl, and although your compelling argument states that ‘the distance of colour does not matter but love matters,’ I can’t bear the thought of telling our future children that we met on the spam mail inbox of my personal email account. And I also can’t bear the thought of you hypercorrecting your grammar and using ‘whom’ in place of what should’ve been ‘who.’ I am overwhelmingly flattered by your candor, your poetic words—what a gift for rhetoric you have!

This being said, our match is not compatible. Feel free to redirect yourself to Eharmony, not my gmail.

Eternally Yours,
Rachel